Margaret Mead

I saw the ants again today- I didn't even bother to try to kill them this time. To be honest, it was one of those moments where the familiar presence of something, even something relatively disgusting, was comforting. There's been lots on my mind- particularly about the usual things that keep me awake at night...how frigged up the world is and how I have a role in that.

I've been thinking today a bit about Gandhi, random- yes.

I wonder if he came up with the idea "be the change you wish to see in the world" while he was doing one of his hunger strikes. Or was it before? Maybe he realized if he was really going to live up to this concept-- he'd have to actually act in a way that cost him something- in this case, that he'd literally have to starve in order to change the world around him. 

A number of things have happened this week that have led me to this train of thought. Again and again I find myself coming back the now tired topic of the difference between "knowing and doing" and I have written about our society and how messed up it is- and how messed up we are. I've written about having these "ah ha" moments when I can clearly see how twisted we live and how I have no idea what to do about it.

This week a temporary Walmart employee was trampled to death by shoppers looking for bargains in in a New York City suburb. A lot of my friends have been talking about this event with total shock and disgust- as they should. It's shocking and disgusting BUT I can't help but thinking that it's not all that surprising either. Do you know how many BILLIONS of dollars will be spent this Christmas on gifts that people do not need? Do you know that the very people who need the generosity of Christmas- the poor, the oppressed, those without homes, or extravagant luxuries like nutritious food, are the VERY people who do not receive gifts? As a society we have bastardized a holiday that was meant to celebrate hope, new life, joy and radical giving and replaced it with a holiday that is based on meaningless traditions like "we have to give them a gift worth about $50 because that's what they give us." We pay our homage to the shopping Gods at the temple of the mall and we rush, rush, rush and stress about finding the "perfect" gift for someone who most likely wants nothing more than our time, attention and love. 

I say all this, because again I am in that purgatory between knowing and doing. And I know how hard it is when it comes to traditions and the way "things have always been." Last year I told my mom that I wasn't "doing" Christmas this year and I didn't want any gifts. Can you guess what happened? 

She cried. 

She shed tears because for her there is great joy in giving my brother and I gifts.

My mom is the most generous, loving, radically selfless women I know and she cried when I told her I didn't want gifts. 

Of all people I expected her to understand. 

In the end- my mom made me a sock monkey and bought me much needed tires for my car. She has made me personalized cook books with all of my favourite recipes, quilts, and other meaningful gifts that don't cost a lot of money. And those have always been, and always will be my favourite gifts.

So this year I am taking a different approach. I'm consciously budgeting how much money I spend. I am setting an amount and sticking to it. When at all possible, I am making gifts for the people I love. Or, taking a cue from my wise friend Sim, I'll give gifts of my time- or experiences that my friends, family and I can share together. I know, that if I spend less money on the people in my life who already have more than they know what to do with, I can give away more money to those who really need it. I can resist all of the urges in me to consume and consume and to go with the flow. I can decide that no sale is ever more important than a human life. 

I just read this article about a former weapons engineer who now lives on $5000 a year so he can have a smaller footprint and give more money away. A WEAPONS ENGINEER-- talk about a modern day tax collector. Stories like this inspire me because I know that if he can change- than I can change. And that's what it comes down to...I need to change. And perhaps to be a but presumptuous- I think we all need to change.  For example- in the process of writing this post, I saw a commercial for Sharp TVs and the tag line of the ad was "Change your TV, Change your life". We need to speak out against these lies. Hearing such things and ultimately have faith in such lies is what leads to Walmart employees being trampled to death for a good bargain. 

Finally, to conclude- I'll leave you with a Brian McLaren quotation that I love. He's talking here about a group of people who can come together to actually make a difference and change the world: 

" A community of people who begin to wake up to the covert curriculum in which they swim each day and would want to band together to share their insights about it. They would help one another not be sucked in, mot be massaged into passivity, not to be malformed by this powerful educational process occurring in a multimedia classroom without walls or vacations. They would remind one another of the alternative framing story they had come to believe was good, beautiful, and true, and they would seek, together, to live by this alternative framing story, the radical good news."

I so desperately want to be one of these people and in this group. Please help me to not be sucked in- and thank you for all of the ways you, my community, already challenge and inspire me.

Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it's the only thing that ever has.

-Margaret Mead

*Photo credit- Steve Dinn Flickr

Apathy

The upstairs bathroom at Matt's house has ants. They've been taking over for a while now...slowly appearing in the summer and crawling most disgustingly on the counter, the shower curtain and on the floor. I've killed quite a few of them. 

The boy's bathroom gets pretty disgusting. And by pretty disgusting- I meant super gross, don't-want-to-touch-anything yucky. I guess that is to be expected when it gets cleaned twice a year and three guys who leave gross little shaved facial hairs everywhere and apparently aren't afraid to live in their own filth don't mind.

I have a confession.

Last night I saw the ants crawling near my toothbrush. Yup. I had a fleeting feeling of disgust. Then I smushed a few with my finger. 

And then my grossed-outness feeling passed.

Yup. It passed.

Cait: "Matt, the ants are crawling near my toothbrush again."

Matt: (still wearing his medal for being the only one to clean the bathroom since September) "WHAT? I cleaned the bathroom two weeks ago- they're back?!"

Cait: (thinks briefly that Matt has a decreasing IQ for thinking that it's acceptable to clean a bathroom once in three months)  "yup- they're back. "

End of conversation. 

I'm not sure if I should pat myself on the back for being so apathetic and laid-back about the ants (and maybe for not just biting the bullet and cleaning their damn bathroom myself) or to give myself a swift kick in the ass.

I solved the problem by telling myself that I've never ACTUALLY seen them crawl on my toothbrush.

The way I see it, it's only a matter of time. 

Don't judge too much, ok?

advent conspiracy.

Of late...

Look familiar? New flower, new wine. The waiter at the Mexican Restaurant on James St. gave Deb and I flowers the last time we were there. I don't particularly love roses, but this made my day. The restaurant has lots of different types of fresh flowers and pineapples(!) for decoration. It looks straight out of Central America. I am really looking forward to Matt's birthday dinner there next weekend with all of our friends.

Jenny and Gill had a dinner party at their sweet place. It was awesome to see where they lived- a great dinner with homemade bread and more bottles of wine than guests!
Oliver sang a song about a turtle. Matt was his kapo. Good times.

Happy Birthday Rums!

Happy Birthday to my dear friend Rhonda! 

Here's to you on your special day- know that the world is better (i am better!) because you were born.

Thank you for your leadership, and perhaps more importantly, your friendship! 

I am so glad to be your friend and to laugh with and learn from you!

Much love from frigging cold Hamilton!

* Rhonda is doing AWESOME work in Mexico- you can follow her adventures at http://www.rhosadventures.blogspot.com/

Love Extravagantly

These words about love are some of the most oft cited by Christians and people of every or no religious conviction. I came across these words again today in the Message- and this time I felt like they really sunk in. That's the incredible thing about great literature and wisdom- it never gets old. The more you read it or hear it, the more you get it- the more real and revealing the truth becomes. 

I hope that these words might expose and reveal a little bit of the mystery to you...

"Love never gives up.

Love cares for more for others than for self.

Love doesn't want what it doesn't have.

Love doesn't strut. 

Doesn't have a swelled head,

Doesn't force itself on others,

Isn't always "me first,"

Doesn't fly off the handle,

Doesn't keep score of the sins of others,

Doesn't revel when others grovel,

Takes pleasure in the flowering of truth,

Puts up with anything,

Trusts God always,

Always looks for the best,

Never looks back,

But keeps going to the end.

Love never dies. Inspired speech will be over some day, praying in tongues will end, understanding will reach its limit. We know only a portion of the truth, and what we say about God is always incomplete. But when the Complete appears, our incomplete will be cancelled...

But for now, until that completeness, we have three things to lead us toward that consummation: Trust steadily in God, hope unswervingly, love extravagantly. And the best of the three is love."

Corinthians 13

Tension

I feel like I have had so much to think about lately, like so many thoughts have been floating around in my head, often bumping in to each other. But at the very same time, I've been having a hard time expressing or organizing these new ideas and realizations. Tonight, fortunately I've finally been able to label what I am feeling: grateful, overwhelmed, happy. I've had such a sense of joy lately- the kind of contentment that makes you feel like eventually something has to give. I'm not naive of the problems of this world- I see poverty, inequality, and just plain ole' unfairness everyday. I spend a lot of time reading about or hearing stories of awful illnesses happening to people out of the blue. I've realized that this pull between joy and fear is a part of the human condition. We live in tension. Simultaneously a black man can be elected as the 44th president of the US and the rights of same sex couples can be voted away by people who are not effected by their choices. We live in tension. Progress and regression. Joy and pain.

There are two streams of thought I think that have come out of this thinking for me. 

Firstly there are times when we are joyful, when we are fulfilled by our communities, when our groups of friends are real and fun and alive, when we share meals and wine, when we laugh, when we run, when we build bridges and genuinely enjoy caring about people- I've been experiencing this so much lately. Just pure thankfulness for the amazing people in my life. I'm almost speechless at the opportunities that I have to learn and to feel challenged. These times are beautiful and good. Even amidst the suffering and pain in the world- we can love and live. And for these moments, I am so grateful. 

Secondly, we cannot forget the other end of the spectrum. We must remember that at times, we all will suffer- there will be illness, death, loss- there are people in our midst who are in need.  We live in tension. I was reading a book about Mother Teresa recently and it got me thinking about her life. I know that she was an incredible woman of God- and that she loved those who were seemingly unloved. But what really captured me was that she chose to enter into the tension, the pain. She did not buffer herself from the groans and pains of humanity. Instead, she willingly cared for the dying, simply because she could. Author Shane Claiborne writes about his time with Mother Teresa and his work with the dying. He writes about how he bandaged the wounds of a man with leprosy, a man who would clearly be dead in a few days, if not hours. I cannot imagine how heartbreaking that would have been for him- to look into the eyes of a man who was hurting, who was dying. Even more so, I cannot imagine how hard it must have been for Mother Teresa to dedicate her life to the marginalized. To look death and pain in the face- and to choose to enter into. That is what makes her such an amazing woman - and what makes her life such a testimony to the grace and love of Christ--rather than spending her days avoiding pain, she welcomed it, for the sake of love. 

My thoughts on this are still developing, but I know for sure that there is something to be said about this type of lifestyle. I see this quality in some of my friends- women and men who chose to be friends with those who are poor, unstable, ill, lonely. They choose to enter in this suffering, to share the pain. This is part of what it means to be Christ in the world. I am so inspired by people who are able to love like this, to live like this. I am so thankful to be a part of a community that strives to share joy and pain. 

We live in such a beautiful, broken, glorious, and bleeding world. I know I am being incredibly redundant when I say that I am thankful. Overwhelmingly, undeservedly thankful. Today, I will thank God for a community that is wise enough and loving enough to reflect His light, acting as conduits of His love, sharing each other's joy and pain, and living life together, and accepting this tension. 

...There should be no division of in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honoured, every part rejoices with it. 1 Cor 12: 25, 26

50,000 pairs of Shoes in 50 days: I know YOU (yes, you) have $5 to spare!!

I

PLEASE READ- then.....ACT. Let's be a part of something HUGE.
I have personally seen children in the third world without shoes and it's heartbreaking.
Please consider giving $5 to donate TWO pairs of shoes. No shipping, no going to the store and buying the shoes...it's literally as easy as a few clicks!
www.50000shoes.com
*Just click on the picture above*

Please consider emailing this on or telling your friends!

Press release:

WWW.50000SHOES.COM Website to Target Bloggers and Social Media Users In Effort to Raise Funds for 50,000 Pairs of New Shoes in 50 Days

Nashville, TN -- November 7, 2008 -- Soles4Souls, the international charity dedicated to providing free footwear to those in desperate need, has announced plans to launch a new fundraising website, www.50000shoes.com. The charity is challenging bloggers and social media users to raise funds for 50,000 pairs of new shoes in 50 days.

Through the new world of blogging, emailing, twittering, and through many other forms of online media, the non-profit hopes to achieve not only the fundraising goal, but also to spread their mission far and wide. The Soles4Souls www.50000shoes.com charity challenge will be live on Monday, November 10, 2008 and end on Wednesday, December 31, 2008.
"We have been utilizing the basic Web-based marketing tools such as e-mail blasts, social networking and YouTube videos. However, this website, www.50000shoes.com, is the natural evolution of our viral marketing plan," said Soles4Souls Founder and CEO, Wayne Elsey.
"A strong grass-roots effort, combined with an effective web-based social marketing platform, will allow Soles4Souls to form online community in a creative manner while being effective with raising funds and helping those in need," he said.

Both the tech savvy and the computer challenged can visit www.50000shoes.com to download their choice of four (4) Soles4Souls banners ad and blog widgets. Using the tools provided, users will be able to easily email, blog, or twitter the challenge to friends, family and co-workers as well as ask everyone to continue spreading the message.

"This is a huge challenge to meet a huge need. We want to virally attack the issues of poverty and make it simple for the end user to play a role in it," Elsey stated.

Donating is easy and takes just a click and a couple of minutes. It requires no shipping, no wrapping and no trips to the post office. The monetary donation is small with $5.00 buying two pairs of new shoes. Anyone can click and give, and all donations are tax-deductible.

After 50,000 pairs have been donated, one person (with a guest of their choosing) will be selected at random to deliver the shoes they purchased to someone in need on one of Soles4Souls' trips to Mexico!


About Soles4Souls:

Nashville-based Soles4Souls™ facilitates the donations of both new and used shoes, which are used to aid the hurting worldwide. Since its inception, Soles4Souls has distributed more than 3.5 million pairs (or one pair every 23 seconds) to people in 61 countries, including Honduras, Romania, Thailand, and the Sudan. The charity has been featured on CNN Headline News, NBC Nightly News with Brian Williams, ABC News, FOX, CBS, and hundreds of regional outlets around North America. Soles4Souls is a 501(c)(3) recognized by the IRS; donating parties are eligible for tax advantages. Visit www.giveshoes.org for more information.

Matt brought me these flowers on Friday.

He got them at the gas station- a fact that I am pretty sure makes me love them even more.

I'm classy like that. And I've got an amazing boyfriend to boot.

I hope that everyone had a great weekend.

kids voting

Making history

i love politics and apparently I am also a bit of a sap as I got teary eyed today reading and article about African Americans taking their kids to the polls and how their kids finally have someone to look up to that looks like them. It reminded me of Martin Luther King- and yes, teary eyed reading an online news paper, pathetic, i know.

tonight, no matter who wins, history is going to be made.
and we get to witness it.
it gives me goose bumps to think about it.
either way, i think i'll probably shed a few tears tonight.

Disturbia

dum dum di dum dum dum di dum.



check this out.
it's disturbing.