All things new

I was listening to song today and one of the lines said:

You make all things new.
You make all things new.

There is something to be said about new things- tangible and conceptual...a new car, a new book, a new day, a new love, a new song, a new baby, a new friend, a new adventure, a new start, a new pair of shoes.

It's amazing to think that God is and is going to make all things new. I find great hope in that. A new me sounds great- not an entirely different me, but one refined and sifted of all the crap that I have picked up along the way, all of the things about myself that I don't like- my need to please people, my capacity to judge and be indifferent.

Newness is so appealing.

A new world, a restored world- marked by peace, love and beauty...that is appealing too. The craziest thing is that I am invited to be a part of restoring creation- bringing about newness. It's incredible how God chooses to use people (who need to be restored and made new themselves) to be agents of change and rejuvenation.

There is another song that I was thinking about today from the Garden State soundtrack. It's called Winter by Joshua Radin- this line always strikes me:

But I don't have to make this mistake
And I don't have to stay this way
If only I would wake

This line reminds me of how I think we do all long to be renewed- it's a powerful realization when we finally get that we don't need to stay the same- that we can change.

We don't have to stay this way.

We are offered newness daily. It's such a beautiful and mysterious concept.

I realize that I have used my own interpretation of Joshua Radin's lyrics, but I think he has it right when he says, " if only I would wake." Because, while I think newness is offered to us daily, it seems like there has to be a conscious choice or an intentional decision on our part to accept being made new. A lot of the time, for some unknown- but most likely deeply embedded reason, I hold on to a lot of the shit in life. It's almost as though we carry our crap for so long that we don't know who we are without it. It's scary that our identity can become so wrapped up in the ways we've hurt people or the ways that people of hurt us. Humans are weird. We do need to wake up - to become conscious of letting go of the things that are old and broken- the past.

Today I choose to be made new. To be open to possibilities. To believe that I can change- and that I don't need to stay this way.

You make all things new.

Deception

When I was driving today I was thinking about the phrase "two-thirds majority world"- I think I must have read an article recently that used that term. Also, at Guelph, development students almost always use "majority world" as opposed to the common "third world."

So, I was driving, thinking about the phrase "2/3 majority world" - but this time, rather than just letting it be a fleeting thought, I actually did the math. I pretended for a second that 2 out of every 3 people I know lived in poverty. It is sad and strange how the phrase became so much more powerful when I used people that I know in my imaginary illustration. The bizarre thing is that I was driving and if I had pretended that two thirds of the people on the road were a part of the 'majority world', 93% of the cars on the road would suddenly disappear because only 7% of the world's pop'n owns a car. Almost everyone I know owns a car. Most families have 2 and many have 3 cars...

It made me think about how even though two thirds of the world's people live in conditions that I can't even begin to understand, I never see it. I feel like this one third of people who live like I do, live in such a bubble- in such ignorance of what the world is actually like. What makes this possible is a complete stratification of poverty- we NEVER see the other two thirds. We live in complete oblivion ( or purposeful ignorance?)- we forget that "our world" is really only a tiny fraction of the bigger picture. I am not saying that there are not seriously poor people here in our midst- because there are-but it's sad the criteria that I use in order to determine if someone is poor- where and what they live in, where they get their clothing, how many and what type of possessions they have, etc. Especially when a great majority of the world does not even have food security or access to save drinking water.

Imagine a world where the 'two thirds majority' world intersected with our 'rich one third world' - imagine that you didn't need to fly across the world to see what that really looks like.. Imagine if suburbia didn't protect and shield you from the reality of how MOST people in the world live. Imagine if most of your neighbours didn't have access to basic health care, water or food? Imagine, like I did, that two out of every three people you saw every day lived in sub-human conditions?

I wonder if things would change? I wonder if we would actually do something. Maybe the reason that we (myself fully included) are so apathetic is because we are masters of deception. We have successfully convinced ourselves that we deserve excess- and more than that, that our 'one third' world is really all there is. We have convinced ourselves that we need to compete with our neighbours so we are not poor in relation to them. We consume so we don't get left behind. We consume and compete because we think financial freedom is real freedom- but we are in chains. Chained to the very thing that we think gives us life, freedom, and choices.

I don't know what make me think about the actual breakdown of rich and poor in the world today- but I am glad that it happened. I don't want to continue to live in ignorance. I need to remind myself daily of the realities of our world. If I don't- all that I am left with is the lies that I tell myself- that I am all that matters, that wealth is determined by what I have in relation to those immediately around me.
I need to remember that not that long ago, I met people that lived and worked in a garbage dump- that I could hardly breathe in. There is a lot more to the world than what we can see.

Repayment

What can I give back to God for the blessings he's poured out on me? I'll lift high the cup of salvation—a toast to God! I'll pray in the name of God; I'll complete what I promised God I'd do, and I'll do it together with his people.
~ Psalm 116: 12-14 (the message)

Lately I have been feeling a lot like the Psalmist who wrote this. What CAN I give back to the God who has lavished me with goodness? I was visiting a friend's church this past weekend and we sang this song and basically, the only words in the song were "thank you" - The song was incredibly cheesy, it seemed like the keyboard was on some wonky setting that reminded me of all things churchy and words like "fellowship" and "afternoon social"- but I digress...

The point is, amidst the ugly music, the words of the song happened to be the words of my heart.



I am so thankful.



So, in my usual style, I started to REALLY question what I could give back to God? How does one live out of thankfulness? I think that there are innumerable answers to what this might look like. I am reminded of John 21:16 where Jesus asks John if he really loves him and after John answers "yes," Jesus tells him to look after his sheep. In my recent uber-awareness of being thankful, it does feel a lot like I am saying "i love you, i love you, i love you" a lot...and I get that out of this love that I have, I can turn it into action by loving the people that God loves- in tangible and non-tangible ways.

I've recently been challenged to not be such a "love-snob" (my own words). Essentially that means is that I am learning to stop judging whether or not someone loves people or Jesus or whatever based on how "all-in" they are, or how radical or how holistically they love and serve people. I apologize if this isn't clear, but what I am learning from this is that (in Matt's words) -we put a lot of conditions on love.

What does putting conditions on love have to do with living out of thankfulness you might ask? I might ask that too- as apparently I am the queen of rambly tangents....

Well, at the same time that I started thinking about thankfulness I realized that the way one lives out gratefulness does not necessarily need to be big and radical- in fact, there is a particular beauty to paying attention to the small, the minute, the limitless ways to love and be thankful. I don't need to necessarily wait until I can lead the life of simplicity or justice that I want to in order to love. That doesn't mean that the ideal, the radical, and the life altering choices we make aren't important- it just means that it is not right to think that "grateful living" is only borne out of lofty ideals, despite how 'right' they might be.

Life in community is an example of this- recently a few of my friends have been going through tricky situations and it's been a privilege in the deepest sense of the word to be able to be there for them- because I know that in my previous times of need, they have been the people who have been there for me. It's a small and simple thing- loving and caring for one's close friends is not a life altering idea- but it's still love. I know that my friends who are facing challenges are welcome to drink out of the reserve of thankfulness and confidence of God's faithfulness that is within me- I know this solely because at times I have borrowed the very same thing from them. Even as I think about community and how incredibly grateful I am to have friends to share life with- literally-to share life with, again I question, "what can I give back to the God who has poured out these incredible blessings on me?" Maybe the real answer is that there is nothing we can give back- nothing that would ever make us even. It's grace.

Redefined

thankful

friends that cheer you up. wine with roommates on mondays. nice families. new friends. being excited to go out. new adventures. old cards from people i love. getting in touch. short term anticipation. learning lessons. trusting god. hot showers. considerate hosts. red tulips. being warm and dry. refills of coffee. unexpected kindness. weekends in thunder bay. dry boots. sharing oranges. lilacs. bbqs. waking up to sunny skies and no rain. decorating new spaces. young, hip moms. sleeping beside a lake. knee slappers. captivating books. apples. retrospect. feeling healthy. covenant. double chocolate caramel brownies. forever. phone calls from family. red skies at night. singing. light at the end of the tunnel. love actually. rambling journal moments. getting into a new book. the feeling after a run. getting back on track. ipods. the cheers at the end of a toast. used book stores. newspapers. lasting friendship. meteor showers. reading on the couch on rainy days. vanilla lattes. animal crackers. still haven't found what i'm looking for. unexpected phone calls. time well wasted. home cooking. picnics by the lake. red wine. cbc radio. tea. fun thursdays. big mugs. clothes out of the dryer. sunsets. losing track of time. ruining moments. getting it. first glimpse of the ocean. chocolate chips. clean laundry. songs on repeat. clarity. love.