Experiments with truth revisited...

At the beginning of 2008 I made a list of things that I wanted to work on this year and I thought I was about time that I re-examine this list to see how I am doing seeing as it's ALMOST been half a year (crazy!!)

Here it is...

-learn and practice holding people in high regard- be less critical- give people the benefit of the doubt

hmmm- this one needs some work. I think i might be naturally critical of others and myself. This is an ugly quality and I am happy to be reminded to hold others in high regard

-don't interrupt: learn to listen more

Again, could use more practice- although I think I have improved a bit.
-practice living with less, question all of my material desires- ask "why do I want this?"

Yes, I think I am learning this- although not by choice, but rather because I am a poor student.
-Eat out less- share more meals with friends, cook together

Definitely failing- being busy is the apparent culprit- although truthfully I know that commitment and better planning can help to eat out less.
- drive less- WAY less

Definitely driving less, mostly because I am at home in Oakville and am not in Waterloo anymore. I am looking forward to September when I will be able to walk/bus/ride my bike everywhere!
- don't commit to people or events if you know that you can't/ don't want to go to

Getting better.
- read often

Just started reading Anna Karenina!
- write often

Does school count?
-re-use more- consume less

Used clothing and books...although lately Nikki has been inspiring me with her garage sale "treasures"
- be hopeful in all circumstances- even the worst. Cynicism is for the lazy... Maybe that is my biggest hope for this year- that we would be able to see the divine in everyone around us. That we would remember that life is a gift and that there is a better way to live. It is my hope that we see and practice this.

This is such a good reminder for me. Lately I've been stressed for OTHER people and haven't had a lot of peace. This goal reminds me to be courageous and always on the side of hope. 

and It's true...

This is what heaven looks like...

HEAVEN.

This is hilarious

My friend sent me this link to a blog called Stuff Christians Like- and I think it is ABSOLUTELY hilarious. The author writes about funny Christian-isms and weird churchy stuff. The best part about the blog, and what makes it so hilarious, it that most of it is true. 

Last night I almost laughed until I cried...you know the kind of laughing when you can't speak, but are trying to. Ahh, it MAY have been because I was concussed from getting KICKED IN THE FACE during my ultimate game last night. Yes, I was literally kicked in the nose. Apparently some guy and I both "layed out" and I got his foot in the face. Painful, but only mildly swollen. If you read my post about being 'the rookie, you might understand why this kick in the face was LITERALLY AND FIGURATIVELY a kick in the face. Regardless, this game was a lot better than my first one- and I got assigned a role in the dreaded "wedge" that I actually understood. Thank God. Now, go look at this site...some personal favourites include the casserole of hope, Narnia, Christianizing your facebook profile, and orange drink. 

Why I am in love with used books

I love used books and bookstores. Today I opened a brand new (to me) book and I found two cool film strips! The photos look a little dated - definitely karaoke...there's a guy wearing a sweet cowboy hat and some people at a party with late 90's hairdos! So great- and a perfect bookmark!

The Rookie

Anyone who knows me well understands that I am a terrible loser. It's an awful quality- and I can definitely trace it back to childhood (playing snakes and ladders with Nana...poor Nana). If you've every gone bowling, played a board game or minigolf with me, you know that I am a huge baby when it comes to losing. It's pathetic, but I HATE it. But, I have found something that I hate more than losing. I really, really strongly dislike doing things that I am not good at. I don't say this to make you think that I am good at everything. Rather, I normally just don't do things that I am bad at. It makes me feel so little, so lost and useless and it is very hard for me to have fun when I am totally unsure of what I am doing or where I am suppose to be, etc. I bring this up because this year I am playing in two sports leagues- two sports that I have NEVER played before. I am playing in an ultimate frisbee league and a soccer league and even writing about it makes me feel a little queazy. Don't get me wrong, I love sports, teams, competition and all of that- but what I don't like- it being a rookie. Last night we had our first frisbee game (we won 15-4, with one less player than the other team). It was fun to run around, except it was NOT fun to play with people who ALL SEEM TO KNOW WHAT THEY ARE DOING!! I don't mind taking direction- but the problem is, I didn't understand where they were directing me to. For instance, on defense we were playing a zone (which I get) BUT then we were doing "the wedge" - WHAT THE HECK IS THE WEDGE?!?! Uggghhh. Also, because I am not that great there were a couple of times when a guys on our team would jump RIGHT in front of me to catch the frisbee. I am THAT girl. OH GOSH. (I am so exasperated :) ) Now, I know that I am going to get better- slowly and I know that learning new skills is good for me. It's humbling really. I'm reminded of how much value I get from the things I do. Not necessarily the things that I am. And while I understand this conceptually, on the field- I just feel lost. We're supposed to make "cuts" to get open- and man, I suck. I just run around. 

That's frisbee- the sport that I am MORE comfortable with. On to soccer. This week we had a "warm up" for new players. It's a time where everyone comes to scrimmage and then they evaluate all of the players- as to make the teams as fair as possible (there are 16 teams, so I have no idea how they do this). I am assuming that they look for the REALLY good players and the REALLY bad players. I, of course, fit into the really bad category. I did touch the ball a few times- the majority of the time I kicked it to the other team. Awesome. I have no idea where the midfielders stand?! Other than that they are somewhere in the middle. Oh goodness. My first game is next week. I am looking forward to meeting my team and getting comfortable with the people that I play with....AND telling them that our first game will be only the SECOND time in my life wearing shin pads. 

So, that's the story for today. I am fully 100% inadequate on my 2 sports teams. BUT- I have 4 months to get better- and I know I will. In the meantime, I am going to ask a lot of questions and try not to get upset when I do something wrong, or look lost, or don't contribute at all. I wrote earlier about how sometimes my attitude is the only thing that I can control. Despite my lack of skill and the fact that I have just vented (and vented) about how bad I am- I am proud of myself that I am learning- trying something new. Maybe it will be like when I got my standard car- I was terrible in the beginning. Lauren and I took it for a little "drive" down my driveway in KW and I got freaked out and had to reverse- but I have NO idea how to reverse. I had to get out the manual- literally stuck in the driveway. But now, I don't even think when I drive standard anymore. I am not afraid of traffic or hills or first gear. I am hoping that one day I won't be scared of "the wedge" or playing "mid mid" (whatever the hell that is). But maybe if or when I conquer frisbee and soccer, I will be able to do something else that scares me, that I am bad at, and that reminds me that it's about who I am, not how I perform.

Love her...

Kim introduced me to Missy Higgins last year and I have had many a good drives singing her sweet, sweet songs in my car (alone of course, as to not lose any friends!)
This is a song from her new album- and I love it. She's poignant and raw and she seems to understand the complexities of messy and real love.
ahhh. so good.
The song is called, "Where I Stood"

Holy Moments

I am stealing this idea from my beautiful friend Nik, who recently wrote a note about such things.  Here are a few things that I have been touched with lately. 

- incredible breakfasts with great friends that last till 2pm 

- meeting new people at frisbee who are  and seeing improvement

- late night ice cream

- helping to celebrate people who have been married for 25 years

- watching kids learn about God, love and life through music

- laughing with friends over lunch about funny churchy/creepy music

- making plans with Kim because she is such a great friend that I miss her when we don't hangout enough

- playing soccer with matthew and matthew - he's 10 and he is wayyyyy better than I am

-seeing humanity and self doubt in my advisor- even great academics question themselves once in a while

- dinner with Steph and Steph and celebrating

-watching my talented friend show off her incredible music abilities

There is so much beauty and holiness in the seemingly normal. I don't ever want to take things like this for granted.