cute!!!

Pouring Blood on the American Flag

The "St. Patrick's Day four" (well three of them) came and spoke to my class today about an action that they did in 2003, days before the American "Shock and Awe" campaign began in Iraq. They poured 4 ounces of each of their blood inside of a U.S. military recruitment centre in New York State. They all were sentenced to federal prison for 4-8 months.

Their story is incredibly powerful- I was moved and inspired.

Read about their protest and their official statement HERE.

We're one but we're not the same...

Today I was at Mac watching my boyfriend's soccer games and I had to go to the bathroom. Mac has two "parts" to the gym- there is a new part that is new and expensive looking.. It's newly renovated and really nice. BUT there is also an "old" gym that is kinda shabby. Needless to say, this was the gym that the soccer game was in. So, I was in the bathroom and I noticed that it was multi-coloured- orange and purple, seriously (I guess that is really irrelevant mind you). I was in the stall and I noticed that all over the walls people had written "I was here" in all of its possible variations (ie- I wuz here '04 etc). I hadn't seen that written in a long time. I started to wonder why people feel compelled to write that- to let people know that they were there...in the shabby Mac bathroom. I wrote a post about the idea that I think we all want to be known in some capacity in September. I think this idea that we want to leave our mark is slightly different. As much as people want to be deeply known by their close friends and family, I think there is another part of us that desires to be recognized for simply existing. It's like that Inuit people, famous for their Inukshuks- little rock sculptures that they made so that they would know where they had come from, or to mark their paths in a landscape with very few natural landmarks. In some way, even on a superficial level, even as superficial as writing on the wall-we want people to know that we have passed through. Think about it, how awful would it be to be at a party with a bunch of people, just to have one of them later ask what you did the night of the party. It really sucks to go unnoticed. We hate the idea that we can be forgotten. I think another example of this is remembering someone's name, when they haven't remembered yours. There have been countless times where I have played along and asked someone what their name is when they ask what mine is. We long to be remembered, even in the simplest and smallest ways.

Also, today I heard a remix of the U2 song "One" with Mary J. Blige- It's already an incredible song when it's just U2, but something about this remix is really beautiful. I've listened to it at least 5 times today. The song has a great couple of lines where it says,

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life
One

When I thought about these lines, and the idea that we are one, but we aren't the same and the silly writing on the bathroom wall that I saw today I was so reminded of the strange and complex relationship that we have with those around us...because we are so similar, we all have these needs, wants, desires...the capacity to love and to be loved, to hurt and to be wounded- but at the same time, we all feel this need to distinguish ourselves from each other...to stand out and to be noticed. There is such a profound truth in the line "we are one, but we are not the same"... And as the U2 song so simply puts it, it is for this very reason that we get to carry each other- because as "one" we all need to be carried, to be loved, and heard- but at the very same time, it is in our differences where we have the capacity to take turns being strong, to take turns carrying each other. There is something beautifully interdependent in the song "One" and even in the writing on the bathroom wall. I am not sure that I am articulating this well at all. It's just a mystery to me- this tension between being the same and being different...and today I have been reminded to be mindful in this complexity. People are strange creatures- I hope that even by remembering the simple idea that we are, in the most fundamental way, the same- that the way I treat people can be born out of this knowledge...it seems so basic, but we all have feelings, we all bleed, we all laugh and cry. I guess it's a lesson in not "other-ing" people... there is no other...because we are, uniquely, one.

Doves, boats and trains

Today one of my profs read a passage out of some crazy book from 1903- what he read was very profound. I'll do my best to paraphase.

He said...

The thing that the dove must overcome is the air. If there were no air, there would be no resistance for the dove and he would be able to sore high and free. Yet, if there were no air, the dove would be trapped in a vacuum and would be unable to go anywhere, trapped. Similarily a ship must overcome and breakthrough the friction of the waters of the ocean. The water creates resistance that the ship uses it's power to breakthrough. Yet, without water, the ship would be unable to sail. In the very same way, a train faces the friction of the wheels on the track. But without tracks, trains would be unable to go anywhere.

He was talking about how we must understand our difficulties as the very things that propels us into our future. The things that are hard or that we struggle with are the very things that reveals our power. Ultimately, our challenges gives us something to overcome, to learn from, to reflect on. A life of pure luxury, with no trials or struggles would produce selfish, weak and ignorant people who are incapable of understanding goodness.

I like this idea. I like this way of looking our struggles. The same prof also said today that we are going to "look for problems"- not just problem solve. I like this idea too- in uncovering injustice, or hate or anything dark, we are able to find outlets to use our power. We are able to become like the doves, the ships and the trains- and are able to move forward (not necessarily in linear fashion- i don't like the notion that progress is always linear and that some people are "behind" others)- we are able to be better humans and more closely able to fully understand the world around us. Really, it comes down to perspective, like so many things in life. It's like the choice to choose to see the shadow or the light in places where darkness and light overlap. Because really, like the Swithchfoot song says, "the shadow proves the sunshine."

Looking Back...

“By three methods we may learn wisdom: first, by reflection, which is noblest; second, by imitation, which is easiest; and third, by experience, which is the most bitter.” - Confucius

I read Amanda's highlights of 2007 and felt compelled to write my own. Once again I have been reminded that life is fragile and that we must live every moment like it's our last- it's cliche, but it is also very true.

2007, Good to have known you...

- becoming friends with Nik, Sim and Amanda- I don't think I understood the true meaning of friendship until I met them
- spending lots of time with the Underground Fam
-lunch dates with Brit and Mel
-trip to Chicago with work... visiting the Green Mill- a killer jazz bar
-dinners with my fam- Diane's cooking can't be beat and there is a whole lot of wisdom, grace and love inside of her
- valentine's day..wedding boxes and all- definitely my favourite valentine's day thus far
- Going to Ecuador- too many memories to mention...life changing and humbling- and daily letters from Amanda and Nik
- Social Justice conference in March- the start of good things :)
- Simon's birthday
-North Carolina...again, WAY to awesome to be deduced down to one memory
-dinner in Little Italy in NYC, napping in Central park
-young adults retreat- my friends who OBVIOUSLY care a lot about me to join me- late night rendezvous at MWR
- spending lots of time with Leah
- getting over turning 24...listening to the song "24" by Switchfoot on repeat in order to do this
-eavesdropping at Greenbean "different strokes for different folks" who knew that would be such a life changing day
-doing LID with the world's best kids- especially "extreme team xxxsh xxxsh"
-getting to know Kim better- spending loads of time with her in the summer, camp, late night sleep overs and "hitting the deck"- I am so thankful for such a beautiful friend and friendship- she has taught me what it means to be "people"
- getting to know Steep at youth camp and having lots of good "cait and steph" sleepovers- many, many laughs and steph always gives good advice
-emails from Connor that kept me SANE at work
- visits to MYW, interviews, cliffs, late drives and the spot near the train station
-youth camp- world's best group- mysterious beard flaps!!
-PRiME..so fun...QUAKE for life with Sim
-tea and confesh with Amanda
-September FINALLY coming!
-getting to know the Ward family- so warm and welcoming!
- Apple picking- twice AND pie making...well, pie watching!
-Amanda's birthday- minus my brutal loss at spoons and the potential domestic that ensued :)
-getting to know Deb, Tali, Lauren and Liane better- I feel lucky to know so many intelligent and wonderful women
- beginning- and currently winning- the lifetime challenge!
- dancing with Barrett at the youth camp reunion
-getting to hangout with Steph Seibert lots, beers at the Heuther with Dunc and Jill and just learning what it means to move beyond friendship to family.
- Matt's birthday and the Raptor's game
- dancing @ Franks
-Pub church- in all its forms
-dinner's at Amanda's- and naturally "the crown"
-getting stuck in my driveway with my new standard car and Lauren
-getting to spend time with Steph and Hayley- feels good to be back together!
-trip to Pittsburgh with Matt to visit Katie and John..the beginning of the Cranium obsession and the end of tequila- forever.
-Christmas vacation- restful, so much time with great friends, late nights and wild spontaneous dreams that although they fall through, I am thankful knowing I have such adventurous friends.
-inside jokes with my fam about "Hoov" many laughs
- my new blanket and my sock monkey- thoughtful gifts that are invaluable to me.
- learning how to crochet with my Grandma "It's not pretty but it works"
- New Year's eve- so chill, great friends and steph came- good times had by all...
-New years's day (I know this is TECHNICALLY 2008) buuuuuttt- such a great way to start the year, breakfast with great friends and a full day spent with my favourite person in the world!

It was such a great year- so much happened and I learned so much. Too many experiences to mention and many tough times as well. Something is to be said for the end of a year- for being able to look back and see how, in all it's beauty and ugliness- it changed you. We are who we are because of the past- and we look with hope at the year ahead of us and try to remember that no matter what happens, we'll be ok...and 2008 will be just another year that further molds, challenges and inspires us.

Experiments with truth

“Another world is not only possible, she is on her way. On a quiet day, I can hear her breathing.” - Arundati Roy

I don't think I would identify myself as a relativist, but some time ago I heard someone use the phrase "experiments with truth"- or I may have read it...but either way, it caught my attention. As I have been thinking about the year that has passed and the new year which is already underway, I can't help but reflect, resolve and wonder. I used to hate the idea of "resolutions" because it seemed like no one ever did what they set out to accomplish and that January was just a crappy self image time where marketers and advertisers could remind us what was wrong with us and convise us that we need this, this and this to "get better." But like I said before, the end and beginning of a year seem like a natural place to evaluate our lives and goals- I think September is a good time for this too. For some reason the new school year feels like a new year in itself.

So, back to experiments with truth. I really wish I could remember where I heard this idea not only to give the creator credit, but also to make sure that my own interpretation is not completely flawed. The way that I understand these "experiments" goes something like this. A few years ago I read a book on meat, farm practices and environmental sustainability. It was very perplexing and pretty gross. So, I decided that I would stop eating meat- not necessarily as a principle or lifetime commitment, but rather as an open ended experiment to see if this felt right, good or truthful to me. Maybe it's all in the phrasing, but for some reason this "experiment" allowed me to feel free to change my mind and free to see how I felt about the whole ordeal. And while I don't identify myself as a relativist, I do think that we, as a culture, need to be more understanding and less judgmental of the choices people make. See, my experiment of not eating meat was really only about me. I don't need to get all moral about it and look down upon those who disagree. This is definitely something I've learned over this holiday- if there is something that we feel passionate about, convicted of, drawn to- and no one else agrees, no one else wants to come- we still must do these things. Finding truth in the world and in life is not about creating trends or getting people "on board"- it's about becoming who we were meant to be and learning to love and receive grace through all of it.

This year I am going to look at my goals for the year as new experiments- I am going to see how practicing these things changes me- makes me better, if I can find truth in the sentiment. I have no idea if the point is success or not or whether I will have have a new understanding of the world around me- so, we'll see I guess...
Here are some of the "experiments" for this year:

-learn and practice holding people in high regard- be less critical- give people the benefit of the doubt
-don't interrupt: learn to listen more
-practice living with less, question all of my material desires- ask "why do I want this?"
-Eat out less- share more meals with friends, cook together
- drive less- WAY less
- don't commit to people or events if you know that you can't/ don't want to go to
- read often
- write often
-re-use more- consume less
- be hopeful in all circumstances- even the worst. Cynicism is for the lazy. I love the picture at the top of this post. It's from a trip I went on last year to Ecuador. We went about eight hours into the amazon to this very small village called Paquisha (only about 16 families). What I love so much about this picture is the exchange that is happening. The woman holding the baby and her daughter took George and I into the bush near their house to see all of the fruit they had. They laughed as we tried to cut down bananas and Evelyn, the little girl, shimmied up papaya trees to collect fruit for us. It was beautiful thing, receiving their fruit as a gift- it was humbling. We thought that we were there to serve them...little did we know. I know for sure that the people I met in Paquisha were more of a blessing to me than I was to them. I was not their hero- I wasn't supposed to be. But meeting these people changed my world view and completely circumvented my old beliefs about "rich" and "poor" and especially changed my notion of justice. We are all the same. We need each other. I can see the face of the creator in the eyes of those around me. Maybe that is my biggest hope for this year- that we would be able to see the divine in everyone around us. That we would remember that life is a gift and that there is a better way to live. It is my hope that we see and practice this.