"Patience is an extremely difficult discipline because precisely because it counteracts our natural instinct to flee or fight....It is the third way and the most difficult way. It calls for discipline because it goes against the grain of our impulses. Patience involves staying with it, living through it, listening carefully to what presents itself here and now....In short, patience is a willingness to be influenced even when this requires giving up control and entering into unknown territory." ~ Nouwen, McNeill and Morrison
Time, waiting, distance, and the unknown seem to be recent themes of mine. I even already wrote about it in an earlier post. I don't feel as though this is the type of waiting where the world seems to be rotating in slow motion, or where the present moment seems meaningless- more that I am aware that I miss a lot of present moments because I am too busy anticipating exciting things in the future. Even the title of my blog speaks volumes...
I want to talk a little bit about what I have learned about time and patience from the book Compassion. I really recommend that EVERYONE should read this book...you can order it here.
The authors argue that "patience is the discipline of compassion." They explain how the words passion and patience are derived from the Latin word pati- which essentially means "suffering"- see, you learn something new everyday!
Understanding the root of the word makes the rest of their argument more clear- but first, they help the reader to overcome the notion that patience equals passiveness.
"...True patience is the opposite of a passive waiting in which we let things happen and allow others to make decisions. Patience means to enter actively into the thick of life and to fully bear the suffering within and around us. Patience is the capacity to see, hear, touch, taste, and smell as fully as possible the inner and outer events in our lives. It is to enter our lives with open eyes, ears, and hands so that we really know what is happening " (emphasis mine).
This resonates with me because I am afraid that I am too busy anticipating, preparing, thinking, dreaming, worrying about what is next to really FULLY touch, see, smell, taste or hear anything in the present. I am worried that I am half-assing my present! This is promblematic if I ever hope to be compassionate- to "suffer with" people - or experience joy with people as well.
Essentially, impatience is saying, " I don't think that this moment, this situation, the here and the now, has any value, worth or meaning." I can see how people can live their entire lives like that...I can see how I could live my entire life like that. Really, it is a "grass is greener" or "you don't know what you have until it's gone" complex. And like most awful things in life, it's cyclical- thinking that way can never lead to contentment.
I am more excited about "down the road" than I can even explain, but I need to remember that every step to getting there is essential....to getting there. "In the meantime" is all we really have and if today was all I had, I hope that I would see it as enough.
To not be fully present in whatever current situation you are in, is to shaft the people around you and the God who wants to use you to show others His love. It reminds me of people who are "half listeners"- you know the people that I am talking about...you talk and you can tell they are really only half listening to the things you are saying, regardless of the importance of your words or feelings. It's annoying and insulting and maybe that is what we are like when we live one foot in the present and the other in the future...or the past, for that matter.
In conclusion, BE where you are- really BE there. Know that you will eventually get where you are going, and then you'll be on your way somewhere else. Let's not look back and wish that it all didn't go by so fast. It's cliche, but you REALLY only have one life, one shot- one today. Soak it all in so that you can see, hear, touch, taste, and smell the world around you. It's necessary for compassion and whenever the present turns into the future- you'll be all the more ready.
Thursday, June 28, 2007
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
Unlearn
I am going to try to make my thoughts coherent here and I apologize if they are scattered and make no sense. Also, I apologize for being so verbose- I don't have enough clarity to be concise yet.
Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I am interested in international development. It was my major in university and something that I have been interested for as long as I can remember. Quite recently, I was reminded of how much the idea of the ''majority or third world" makes my blood pump. I've realized that after I finish my master's degree I will have more opportunities to "use" my education- and I feel drawn or called (for lack of a better word) to go overseas.
This year I have been learning a lot about creativity, unlearning and alternatives to capitalism. This is where things get confusing. Dan Oudshoorn wrote an incredible series on Christianity and capitalism and proposed, in my opinion, the beginnings of a practical and inspiring alternative to capitalism. If you are interested, read the series- but I took his thesis (at least in part) to be that, as Christians (and our identity as such) should lead us to develop a communal type of politics and economics that is founded on radical sharing and dependence. Again, I am botching his brilliant ideas, so go read it.
I have begun to feel strongly that the world (and to be melodramatic, my soul) needs an alternative to capitalism. The whole race to accumulate more - more stuff, power, wealth - all of it...it's making us sick. We've settled for this life that is based on accumulating and achieving our own personal and individual identities. Yet, this is what is seen and understood to be "developed."
I began thinking about development recently and was talking with a close friend about it and he made a great point- he said something along the lines of , Why would one go overseas to "help" if all that they were doing was teaching, instilling and perpetuating the structures of capitalism? Ughh... it's a great question because most interaction that the "first world" has with the "majority world" is about teaching "them" how to do things the way "we" do in order for them to modernize and give those on the margins more freedoms.
How then, do we increase the freedoms of the most marginalized outside the oppressive walls of capitalism? Especially, because I am not convinced that we are any more free than someone living on the margins. Our oppressors may be different, but we are all oppressed. We may have more political and economic freedoms in the so called "developed world' - but we've sold our souls to get here- and in some ways, remain captive to "the man" the same way that someone in severe poverty would be held captive by "lack of freedoms" to overcome poverty.
I start to feel a little bit crazy here- because in Canada and the west, it seems like there is this desire to create small communities that are so radically generous and dependent that their very existence starts to challenge the capitalist structures and institutions. It could be argued, that many of the impoverished regions of the world already have a much deeper and real sense of community and group identities- as opposed to the extreme individualization we see here at home. But this takes me back to the idea of "us" helping "them"- who the hell are we anyway?
So - where does this leave us? Or I guess me rather...because I have been wondering if working and living overseas is just something that I have just wanted to do out of selfishness, or interest...but, what if I went there and was no help at all? All I have is the resources and the education that, in many ways, are products of this capitalist system that I am trying so hard see outside of.
I am unlearning*. I am trying to use and re-engage the imagination that I have even though it has been stifled and almost crushed by ideas of productivity, effectiveness, efficiency and sustainability. I need to question why I value these things. I need to question why I feel as though the world could not run without these values.
Late last night, when I couldn't sleep, I stumbled upon this incredible passage in a book I am reading called Compassion**. It's a lengthy quotation, but I think it's worth reading:
"Jesus' whole life and mission involve accepting powerlessness and revealing in this powerlessness the limitless of God's love. Here we see what compassion means. It is not a bending down toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going to directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there. God's compassion is total, absolute, unconditional, without reservation. It is the compassion of one who keeps going to the most forgotten corners of the world, and who cannot rest as long as there are still human beings with tears in their eyes. It is the compassion of a God who does not merely act as a servant, but expresses the divinity of God through servanthood."
The authors go on to say, "As long as the help we offer to others is motivated primarily by the changes that we may accomplish, our service cannot last long." - And I think this has been my problem in my thinking, as I wonder, what could I really accomplish somewhere else, when I can't even figure out how to live and love well here? Part of that questioning has led and I hope will continue to lead me to understand my own powerlessness, to step down from the fake pedestal that I have created for myself by thinking that I have something to offer because of my resources and formal (western) education- and on the contrary, my uselessness as I feel like I am a product of the environment and systems that I so want out of. In my own powerlessness, God's power and love can be seen- and I am free to be compassionate. I am free to give up the illusion of my competitiveness and to enter into new life. Part of my unlearning process has involved and will continue to involve coming to not only believe, but practice and live out the idea that who I am is not a collection of the esteem that I can gather from competition with others. Who I am and what I can do is not going to be found by making my "mark" in the world, and proving my worth by carving out a unique and distinct identity. Rather, I am unlearning to understand that who I am is directly the effect of the love I have received freely from Christ. This is for me, the start of unbinding the chains of capitalism, because at the heart of capitalism is the value of competition. Capitalism is so much more than a defined mode of production and in order to see outside of it we need to trade our competitive selves for the new life that God offers us, so that we can become compassionate...and powerless so that we can show the limitless of God's love.
*thanks Erica for teaching me about the beautiful and necessary process of unlearning
** Compassion, by Nenri Nouwen, Donald P. MacNeill, and Douglas A. Morrison - read it!
Anyone who knows me even a little bit knows that I am interested in international development. It was my major in university and something that I have been interested for as long as I can remember. Quite recently, I was reminded of how much the idea of the ''majority or third world" makes my blood pump. I've realized that after I finish my master's degree I will have more opportunities to "use" my education- and I feel drawn or called (for lack of a better word) to go overseas.
This year I have been learning a lot about creativity, unlearning and alternatives to capitalism. This is where things get confusing. Dan Oudshoorn wrote an incredible series on Christianity and capitalism and proposed, in my opinion, the beginnings of a practical and inspiring alternative to capitalism. If you are interested, read the series- but I took his thesis (at least in part) to be that, as Christians (and our identity as such) should lead us to develop a communal type of politics and economics that is founded on radical sharing and dependence. Again, I am botching his brilliant ideas, so go read it.
I have begun to feel strongly that the world (and to be melodramatic, my soul) needs an alternative to capitalism. The whole race to accumulate more - more stuff, power, wealth - all of it...it's making us sick. We've settled for this life that is based on accumulating and achieving our own personal and individual identities. Yet, this is what is seen and understood to be "developed."
I began thinking about development recently and was talking with a close friend about it and he made a great point- he said something along the lines of , Why would one go overseas to "help" if all that they were doing was teaching, instilling and perpetuating the structures of capitalism? Ughh... it's a great question because most interaction that the "first world" has with the "majority world" is about teaching "them" how to do things the way "we" do in order for them to modernize and give those on the margins more freedoms.
How then, do we increase the freedoms of the most marginalized outside the oppressive walls of capitalism? Especially, because I am not convinced that we are any more free than someone living on the margins. Our oppressors may be different, but we are all oppressed. We may have more political and economic freedoms in the so called "developed world' - but we've sold our souls to get here- and in some ways, remain captive to "the man" the same way that someone in severe poverty would be held captive by "lack of freedoms" to overcome poverty.
I start to feel a little bit crazy here- because in Canada and the west, it seems like there is this desire to create small communities that are so radically generous and dependent that their very existence starts to challenge the capitalist structures and institutions. It could be argued, that many of the impoverished regions of the world already have a much deeper and real sense of community and group identities- as opposed to the extreme individualization we see here at home. But this takes me back to the idea of "us" helping "them"- who the hell are we anyway?
So - where does this leave us? Or I guess me rather...because I have been wondering if working and living overseas is just something that I have just wanted to do out of selfishness, or interest...but, what if I went there and was no help at all? All I have is the resources and the education that, in many ways, are products of this capitalist system that I am trying so hard see outside of.
I am unlearning*. I am trying to use and re-engage the imagination that I have even though it has been stifled and almost crushed by ideas of productivity, effectiveness, efficiency and sustainability. I need to question why I value these things. I need to question why I feel as though the world could not run without these values.
Late last night, when I couldn't sleep, I stumbled upon this incredible passage in a book I am reading called Compassion**. It's a lengthy quotation, but I think it's worth reading:
"Jesus' whole life and mission involve accepting powerlessness and revealing in this powerlessness the limitless of God's love. Here we see what compassion means. It is not a bending down toward the underprivileged from a privileged position; it is not a reaching out from on high to those who are less fortunate below; it is not a gesture of sympathy or pity for those who fail to make it in the upward pull. On the contrary, compassion means going to directly to those people and places where suffering is most acute and building a home there. God's compassion is total, absolute, unconditional, without reservation. It is the compassion of one who keeps going to the most forgotten corners of the world, and who cannot rest as long as there are still human beings with tears in their eyes. It is the compassion of a God who does not merely act as a servant, but expresses the divinity of God through servanthood."
The authors go on to say, "As long as the help we offer to others is motivated primarily by the changes that we may accomplish, our service cannot last long." - And I think this has been my problem in my thinking, as I wonder, what could I really accomplish somewhere else, when I can't even figure out how to live and love well here? Part of that questioning has led and I hope will continue to lead me to understand my own powerlessness, to step down from the fake pedestal that I have created for myself by thinking that I have something to offer because of my resources and formal (western) education- and on the contrary, my uselessness as I feel like I am a product of the environment and systems that I so want out of. In my own powerlessness, God's power and love can be seen- and I am free to be compassionate. I am free to give up the illusion of my competitiveness and to enter into new life. Part of my unlearning process has involved and will continue to involve coming to not only believe, but practice and live out the idea that who I am is not a collection of the esteem that I can gather from competition with others. Who I am and what I can do is not going to be found by making my "mark" in the world, and proving my worth by carving out a unique and distinct identity. Rather, I am unlearning to understand that who I am is directly the effect of the love I have received freely from Christ. This is for me, the start of unbinding the chains of capitalism, because at the heart of capitalism is the value of competition. Capitalism is so much more than a defined mode of production and in order to see outside of it we need to trade our competitive selves for the new life that God offers us, so that we can become compassionate...and powerless so that we can show the limitless of God's love.
*thanks Erica for teaching me about the beautiful and necessary process of unlearning
** Compassion, by Nenri Nouwen, Donald P. MacNeill, and Douglas A. Morrison - read it!
Friday, June 15, 2007
What does it look like?
Lately, in nearly every discussion that I have had I have asked, "what does it look like?"
I am a person that loves theories...I like the intangible, the debatable, and the abstract. But recently, in every aspect of my life, I have begun to feel as if I want to see what these lofty ideas (and maybe even ideals) look like in practice. I mentioned this in a post about moving from being believers to practitioners. I feel sort of stuck right now- and I am afraid that I may come to accept the belief that I will change and start "my life" once I have everything together, or I am done school, or I live on my own, or am married. I get worried thinking like that because not only is that the very opposite of living in the moment, but it is also undervaluing the present and assumes that there will be a certain time when I will "start my life' - and it even assumes that I will be alive until that happens. Point is- I have felt frustrated lately and a little stuck in my current predicament. A lot of it has to do with knowing that I will be going to school for one year- and questioning how best to use that year, where to invest my time, where to give of myself, and how to best love people.
What does it look like when we stop talking, and start living? That is really what I've been wondering. I recently read and article by N.T. Wright where he says that Paul's job was, " ...to plant little cells of people loyal to Jesus as Lord, right there in the heart of Caesar's empire, as a sign that there was a different king."
I like this idea and language of "planting little cells" of people, because I feel like I can do that. I can be one of those people in those little cells.
N.T. Wright also speaks specifically about what our vocations as Christians are. He purports that we are "...to be agents of new creation, knowing the world and one another with delight, love and respect, celebrating it as God's good creation, grieving over the places where it has gone wrong, glimpsing new creation, not least through the arts and through beauty, and working to make it happen."
So, while I am still unsure of exactly what it looks like to be this type of "agent", I feel like this is something I can do. I can choose to see myself and others as new creations. I can choose to see the earth as a place that is going to be re-created- that is going to be filled with all of God's glory- and I can treat it like that now.
Like I said before, I haven't come up with a five-point plan, or a five year plan for that matter- but I have realized that it has to begin with the way I perceive myself, others and the world. Also, that maybe in just seeing myself as a new creation, seeing you as a new creation and that the world we live in is good - is enough. Yesterday my friend told me that I needed to "be" more. Instead of doing or thinking or over - thinking. Maybe, for now at least, 'being" someone who lives like there is another king is enough.
I am a person that loves theories...I like the intangible, the debatable, and the abstract. But recently, in every aspect of my life, I have begun to feel as if I want to see what these lofty ideas (and maybe even ideals) look like in practice. I mentioned this in a post about moving from being believers to practitioners. I feel sort of stuck right now- and I am afraid that I may come to accept the belief that I will change and start "my life" once I have everything together, or I am done school, or I live on my own, or am married. I get worried thinking like that because not only is that the very opposite of living in the moment, but it is also undervaluing the present and assumes that there will be a certain time when I will "start my life' - and it even assumes that I will be alive until that happens. Point is- I have felt frustrated lately and a little stuck in my current predicament. A lot of it has to do with knowing that I will be going to school for one year- and questioning how best to use that year, where to invest my time, where to give of myself, and how to best love people.
What does it look like when we stop talking, and start living? That is really what I've been wondering. I recently read and article by N.T. Wright where he says that Paul's job was, " ...to plant little cells of people loyal to Jesus as Lord, right there in the heart of Caesar's empire, as a sign that there was a different king."
I like this idea and language of "planting little cells" of people, because I feel like I can do that. I can be one of those people in those little cells.
N.T. Wright also speaks specifically about what our vocations as Christians are. He purports that we are "...to be agents of new creation, knowing the world and one another with delight, love and respect, celebrating it as God's good creation, grieving over the places where it has gone wrong, glimpsing new creation, not least through the arts and through beauty, and working to make it happen."
So, while I am still unsure of exactly what it looks like to be this type of "agent", I feel like this is something I can do. I can choose to see myself and others as new creations. I can choose to see the earth as a place that is going to be re-created- that is going to be filled with all of God's glory- and I can treat it like that now.
Like I said before, I haven't come up with a five-point plan, or a five year plan for that matter- but I have realized that it has to begin with the way I perceive myself, others and the world. Also, that maybe in just seeing myself as a new creation, seeing you as a new creation and that the world we live in is good - is enough. Yesterday my friend told me that I needed to "be" more. Instead of doing or thinking or over - thinking. Maybe, for now at least, 'being" someone who lives like there is another king is enough.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Climbing Mountains
Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to draw back, always ineffectiveness. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
~W. H. Murray (The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951)
the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, the providence moves too. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one's favor all manner of unforeseen incidents, meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamt would have come his way.
~W. H. Murray (The Scottish Himalaya Expedition, 1951)
Thursday, June 7, 2007
Moving from Believers to Practitioners and a Thought on Bread
"Love in action is a harsh and dreadful thing compared with love in dreams"
- Fr. Zossima, in Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov
I'm starting to see that being a believer in love, hope, peace -is so different and so much easier than being a practitioner of these things. Like the quotation above says, love in action is harsh and dreadful (at times). I got my first real sense of this in Quito- and have since talked a lot about how my understanding of what love is was expanded. Because sometimes love is dirty little fingers touching your face, sweat, head lice, and playing the same game over and over again. Love can mean smelling garbage and often means being really uncomfortable- physically and emotionally. I haven't loved like that very much since I've been back - and there is something wrong with that. I don't want to love in dreams anymore.
I'm reading this incredible book by Dorothy Day called A Radical Love- besides being an incredibly inspiring person, Day's perspective and writings are poignant and unique.
Day talks about St. Teresa and how she said that Christ is disguised as bread (Matt 6:11, John 6:48, 51) so that we will not be fearful in approaching him. Day goes on to say that as humans we are not "capable of exalted emotion, save rarely." She talks about how we are not always capable of forcing ourselves and/or our emotions to feel love, awe, gratitude, etc. She makes the point that Christ comes to us in the form of bread because it is a daily way that we can readily approach Him- in bread, Christ is so simple. Dorothy Day says that even a child can eat "the Sacred Food with love and gratitude."
I feel a sense of relief in reading about how we are not always capable of exalted emotion- I know that I most certainly am not. Sometimes- a lot of the time, I don't really feel like loving at all. And, a lot of the time awe and wonder is replaced with waiting, worrying and the burden of 'doing'. I am encouraged by the concept of daily bread. Bread is not exciting all the time (although there is this bread I LOVE at Wholefoods called "Seeduction"- lame name, but soo good), eating never ends- we'll have to keep doing it for the rest of our lives, it doesn't take a certain income or IQ to need to eat or to enjoy food.
I feel like I am not doing justice to this idea, but like bread (who really understands yeast anyway- it's alive?!), it's intriguing and comforting.
- Fr. Zossima, in Dostoyevsky's The Brothers Karamazov
I'm starting to see that being a believer in love, hope, peace -is so different and so much easier than being a practitioner of these things. Like the quotation above says, love in action is harsh and dreadful (at times). I got my first real sense of this in Quito- and have since talked a lot about how my understanding of what love is was expanded. Because sometimes love is dirty little fingers touching your face, sweat, head lice, and playing the same game over and over again. Love can mean smelling garbage and often means being really uncomfortable- physically and emotionally. I haven't loved like that very much since I've been back - and there is something wrong with that. I don't want to love in dreams anymore.
I'm reading this incredible book by Dorothy Day called A Radical Love- besides being an incredibly inspiring person, Day's perspective and writings are poignant and unique.
Day talks about St. Teresa and how she said that Christ is disguised as bread (Matt 6:11, John 6:48, 51) so that we will not be fearful in approaching him. Day goes on to say that as humans we are not "capable of exalted emotion, save rarely." She talks about how we are not always capable of forcing ourselves and/or our emotions to feel love, awe, gratitude, etc. She makes the point that Christ comes to us in the form of bread because it is a daily way that we can readily approach Him- in bread, Christ is so simple. Dorothy Day says that even a child can eat "the Sacred Food with love and gratitude."
I feel a sense of relief in reading about how we are not always capable of exalted emotion- I know that I most certainly am not. Sometimes- a lot of the time, I don't really feel like loving at all. And, a lot of the time awe and wonder is replaced with waiting, worrying and the burden of 'doing'. I am encouraged by the concept of daily bread. Bread is not exciting all the time (although there is this bread I LOVE at Wholefoods called "Seeduction"- lame name, but soo good), eating never ends- we'll have to keep doing it for the rest of our lives, it doesn't take a certain income or IQ to need to eat or to enjoy food.
I feel like I am not doing justice to this idea, but like bread (who really understands yeast anyway- it's alive?!), it's intriguing and comforting.
Wednesday, June 6, 2007
Because I'm turning 24...
A friend recently introduced me to the song '24' by Switchfoot- I really like a lot of the themes in the song -even (and maybe especially) the "trendy" ones - ie: not copping out and being second.
And most of all, it's comforting to know that "the dead in me" is still being raised.
Twenty four oceans
Twenty four skies
Twenty four failures
Twenty four tries
Twenty four finds me
In twenty-fourth place
Twenty four drop outs
At the end of the day
Life is not what I thought it was
Twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And I'm not who I thought I was twenty four hours ago
Still I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
Twenty four reasons to admit that I'm wrong
With all my excuses still twenty four strong
See I'm not copping out not copping out not copping out
When You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising these twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts
But I wan to be one today
Centered and true
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
You're raising the dead in me
Oh, oh I am the second man
Oh, oh I am the second man now
Oh, oh I am the second man now
And You're raising the dead in me
I want to see miracles, see the world change
Wrestled the angel, for more than a name
For more than a feeling
For more than a cause
I'm singing Spirit take me up in arms with You
And You're raising the dead in me
Twenty four voices
With twenty four hearts
With all of my symphonies
In twenty four parts.
I'm not copping out. Not copping out. Not copping out.
Monday, June 4, 2007
Hunting and Gathering
Back in my early undergraduate days, when I first really started questioning how the world got to be the way it was, I read a book called Ishmael, by Daniel Quinn. The book based around a Socratic type dialogue between a man and a gorilla (weird, I know, but trust me, you should read the book!) The gorilla, who the man accepts as his teacher, makes the argument that society and the environment began to go downhill when humans became "takers". By this, he means when mankind began to make permanent settlements and began to hoard or have excess of the things they needed to survive. Essentially, this is the move from having enough resources to survive (like hunter/gatherers) , to our culture today, where it is seemingly impossible to ever have too much stuff.
I tell you all of this about Ishmael, because I have been thinking about a lot of the factors that caused that change in humankind. Anthropology tells us that small, community based groups like hunter/gatherers were and are more egalitarian, power is shared more equally across genders and there is less stratification. When you are living in a community of 50 people, it makes sense that your voice can be heard more clearly than if you were living in a community of 100,000.
I got thinking about the differences between hunter/gatherers and our modern nation-state structure because I have thinking a lot about the church, size and difference. I think you can compare the modern church establishment to a nation state. In a lot of churches, you do not know everyone's name, you have a "voice" in the form of a vote (only if you are a member) and the organizational hierarchy of the church is generally quite established. Much like in a nation state, it is very hard for the average citizen to solicit any type of drastic change. Not to say that it is not possible for citizens to mobilize and join their voices together to get the attention of those in power (ie- the entire decade of the 1960's) - but...it is difficult. It can be said, that I have very little say in the "mission statement" of Canada- I do vote, but I don't even like any of the options available to vote for.
I know it is impossible to know what it is truly like to live in a small, unstratified community- because all of my experiences are here, but I imagine that it is easier to mitigate 50 people's opinions, visions and mission statements than it is to accommodate 35 million- or 4,000 for that matter.
In Acts 2, we read about the early church - and the people who lived, shared, ate and served together. In Acts 2:41, it says that 3,000 people were baptized in one day. However, in the next paragraph, it goes on to talk about how the believers would meet in each other's home and eat together. It's fair to assume that no where near 3,000 people were meeting together in one person's home. This is because the early church was made up of local communities of people that met together- not giant stadiums full of ALL the believers. Smallness in community allows for people to have a voice that is heard. It allows for the group to share a "mission statement" - for lack of better terminology. I don't think that homogeneity amongst a group is necessary, or good- but I am starting to think that whatever community that I find myself in, and call my own- I want to know that we are striving for the same thing, with the same values. Christianity is an umbrella term that encompasses a wide array of people. In some cases, I know that my values more similarly resemble the values of those who do not even consider themselves "Christian" at all.
So, maybe it is time to get small. Big and developed, much like the nation-state structure, have perks. It looks more enticing, there is more money to make it look appealing, there is something striking about feeling like you are part of something "big"- Jesus had 12 friends that were His inner community- and no one can argue that He wasn't part of something big. Maybe having a community that looks appealing is part of the problem- not only because its a waste of resources- when so many people out there have so little, but also just the desire to make the community look esthetically pleasing is problematic and says something about what the members care about.
If the Way is narrow, lets not dumb things down or make things easy so people will join us- I want to be a part of a community that is willing to be real and to the best of our abilities, live the way I think we are called to live I have a feeling that it's not going to look cool or hip- I have a feeling its going to need to be small, if I am hoping that we will share a perspective on living and loving and sharing.
Too bad that land is all owned now- hunting and gathering is out.
I tell you all of this about Ishmael, because I have been thinking about a lot of the factors that caused that change in humankind. Anthropology tells us that small, community based groups like hunter/gatherers were and are more egalitarian, power is shared more equally across genders and there is less stratification. When you are living in a community of 50 people, it makes sense that your voice can be heard more clearly than if you were living in a community of 100,000.
I got thinking about the differences between hunter/gatherers and our modern nation-state structure because I have thinking a lot about the church, size and difference. I think you can compare the modern church establishment to a nation state. In a lot of churches, you do not know everyone's name, you have a "voice" in the form of a vote (only if you are a member) and the organizational hierarchy of the church is generally quite established. Much like in a nation state, it is very hard for the average citizen to solicit any type of drastic change. Not to say that it is not possible for citizens to mobilize and join their voices together to get the attention of those in power (ie- the entire decade of the 1960's) - but...it is difficult. It can be said, that I have very little say in the "mission statement" of Canada- I do vote, but I don't even like any of the options available to vote for.
I know it is impossible to know what it is truly like to live in a small, unstratified community- because all of my experiences are here, but I imagine that it is easier to mitigate 50 people's opinions, visions and mission statements than it is to accommodate 35 million- or 4,000 for that matter.
In Acts 2, we read about the early church - and the people who lived, shared, ate and served together. In Acts 2:41, it says that 3,000 people were baptized in one day. However, in the next paragraph, it goes on to talk about how the believers would meet in each other's home and eat together. It's fair to assume that no where near 3,000 people were meeting together in one person's home. This is because the early church was made up of local communities of people that met together- not giant stadiums full of ALL the believers. Smallness in community allows for people to have a voice that is heard. It allows for the group to share a "mission statement" - for lack of better terminology. I don't think that homogeneity amongst a group is necessary, or good- but I am starting to think that whatever community that I find myself in, and call my own- I want to know that we are striving for the same thing, with the same values. Christianity is an umbrella term that encompasses a wide array of people. In some cases, I know that my values more similarly resemble the values of those who do not even consider themselves "Christian" at all.
So, maybe it is time to get small. Big and developed, much like the nation-state structure, have perks. It looks more enticing, there is more money to make it look appealing, there is something striking about feeling like you are part of something "big"- Jesus had 12 friends that were His inner community- and no one can argue that He wasn't part of something big. Maybe having a community that looks appealing is part of the problem- not only because its a waste of resources- when so many people out there have so little, but also just the desire to make the community look esthetically pleasing is problematic and says something about what the members care about.
If the Way is narrow, lets not dumb things down or make things easy so people will join us- I want to be a part of a community that is willing to be real and to the best of our abilities, live the way I think we are called to live I have a feeling that it's not going to look cool or hip- I have a feeling its going to need to be small, if I am hoping that we will share a perspective on living and loving and sharing.
Too bad that land is all owned now- hunting and gathering is out.
Friday, June 1, 2007
If you were a Hutu...
"To care means first of all to empty our own cup and to allow the other to come close to us. It means to take away the many barriers which prevent us from entering into communion with the other. When we dare to care, then we discover that nothing human is foreign to us, but that all the hatred and love, cruelty and compassion, fear and joy can be found in our own hearts. When we dare to care, we have to confess that when others kill, I could have killed too. When others torture, I could have done the same. And when others give life, I could have done the same. The we experience that we can be present to the soldier who kills, to the guard who pesters, to the young man who plays as if life has no end, and to the old man who stopped playing out of fear for death.
By the honest recognition and confession of our human sameness we can participate in the care of God who came, not to the powerful, but the powerless, not to be different but the same, not to take away our pain, but to share it. Through this participation we can open our hearts to each other and form a new community." - Henri Nouwen
This is a lengthy, but beautiful and powerful quote. I love the idea that nothing human is foreign to us. It means that I can recognize the holiness and the darkness in everyone around me- simply because I know it in myself.
A couple of years ago in a class at university the class was having a discussion about the Rwandan genocide in 1994. We were discussing whose fault the genocide was. Where we could point our Eurocentric fingers. The professor looked directly at a friend of mine and asked, " If you were there, and you were a Hutu, do you think you could have been one of the killers?" He continued, " Do you think if you had been raised in that environment and literally were in the shoes of a Hutu rebel- do you think you could have used a machete?" - The class was stunned at the direct pointedness of the question and I think even more perplexed by my friends answer. He said, "yes" - that maybe if he had been there- he would have been a killer too. What I understand now, is that my friend saw the humanity in the awful situation and he understood that "nothing human is foreign to us." I am obviously not telling this story to say that killing is good- but there was something almost holy in recognizing that there is no "us" and "them" - there really is no other...only "we". My friend understood this years ago and I am continuing to learn what it means to see people's humanness. I think I am starting to see, like Henri Nouwen argues, that only when we embrace our sameness as humans, can we ever care for people in the way that God does and longs us to do also.
By the honest recognition and confession of our human sameness we can participate in the care of God who came, not to the powerful, but the powerless, not to be different but the same, not to take away our pain, but to share it. Through this participation we can open our hearts to each other and form a new community." - Henri Nouwen
This is a lengthy, but beautiful and powerful quote. I love the idea that nothing human is foreign to us. It means that I can recognize the holiness and the darkness in everyone around me- simply because I know it in myself.
A couple of years ago in a class at university the class was having a discussion about the Rwandan genocide in 1994. We were discussing whose fault the genocide was. Where we could point our Eurocentric fingers. The professor looked directly at a friend of mine and asked, " If you were there, and you were a Hutu, do you think you could have been one of the killers?" He continued, " Do you think if you had been raised in that environment and literally were in the shoes of a Hutu rebel- do you think you could have used a machete?" - The class was stunned at the direct pointedness of the question and I think even more perplexed by my friends answer. He said, "yes" - that maybe if he had been there- he would have been a killer too. What I understand now, is that my friend saw the humanity in the awful situation and he understood that "nothing human is foreign to us." I am obviously not telling this story to say that killing is good- but there was something almost holy in recognizing that there is no "us" and "them" - there really is no other...only "we". My friend understood this years ago and I am continuing to learn what it means to see people's humanness. I think I am starting to see, like Henri Nouwen argues, that only when we embrace our sameness as humans, can we ever care for people in the way that God does and longs us to do also.
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