Friday, June 15, 2007

What does it look like?

Lately, in nearly every discussion that I have had I have asked, "what does it look like?"
I am a person that loves theories...I like the intangible, the debatable, and the abstract. But recently, in every aspect of my life, I have begun to feel as if I want to see what these lofty ideas (and maybe even ideals) look like in practice. I mentioned this in a post about moving from being believers to practitioners. I feel sort of stuck right now- and I am afraid that I may come to accept the belief that I will change and start "my life" once I have everything together, or I am done school, or I live on my own, or am married. I get worried thinking like that because not only is that the very opposite of living in the moment, but it is also undervaluing the present and assumes that there will be a certain time when I will "start my life' - and it even assumes that I will be alive until that happens. Point is- I have felt frustrated lately and a little stuck in my current predicament. A lot of it has to do with knowing that I will be going to school for one year- and questioning how best to use that year, where to invest my time, where to give of myself, and how to best love people.
What does it look like when we stop talking, and start living? That is really what I've been wondering. I recently read and article by N.T. Wright where he says that Paul's job was, " ...to plant little cells of people loyal to Jesus as Lord, right there in the heart of Caesar's empire, as a sign that there was a different king."
I like this idea and language of "planting little cells" of people, because I feel like I can do that. I can be one of those people in those little cells.
N.T. Wright also speaks specifically about what our vocations as Christians are. He purports that we are "...to be agents of new creation, knowing the world and one another with delight, love and respect, celebrating it as God's good creation, grieving over the places where it has gone wrong, glimpsing new creation, not least through the arts and through beauty, and working to make it happen."
So, while I am still unsure of exactly what it looks like to be this type of "agent", I feel like this is something I can do. I can choose to see myself and others as new creations. I can choose to see the earth as a place that is going to be re-created- that is going to be filled with all of God's glory- and I can treat it like that now.
Like I said before, I haven't come up with a five-point plan, or a five year plan for that matter- but I have realized that it has to begin with the way I perceive myself, others and the world. Also, that maybe in just seeing myself as a new creation, seeing you as a new creation and that the world we live in is good - is enough. Yesterday my friend told me that I needed to "be" more. Instead of doing or thinking or over - thinking. Maybe, for now at least, 'being" someone who lives like there is another king is enough.

2 comments:

Melanie said...

you're good with explaining things cait! thanks for helping me put words to how i've been feeling lately too!

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