Some more photos of Nicaragua

Plant impossible gardens. Look forward to dreams. Cry during movies. Swing as high as you can on a swingset, by moonlight. Cultivate moods. Do it for love. Take lots of naps. Take moonbaths. Giggle with children. Listen to old people. Drive away fear. Play with everything. Entertain your inner child. Build a fort with blankets. Get wet. Hug trees. Write love letters.

                                                                                                                                             -Sark

Distance does not decide who is your brother and who is not

I just got back from a trip to Nicaragua. I went with my boyfriend's family and their church. At first I was a little unsure of whether or not I wanted to go because I know sometimes good people within the church have sticky motives and they set up programs where they'll give people food or medical care only if they'll listen to some speech about Jesus. I don't like stuff like that. It creeps me out and I think it's wrong. Needless to say, I was a little worried going on the trip because I was afraid I would be helping out an organization that did that. After studying international development, I get a queazy feeling about the word "missionary" or "mission trip"-but, I talked to a lot of people who I trust and who know me and everyone thought that I should go...so I did. Last year I worked at a church and we took a group of our youth to Quito for 2 weeks. It was an incredible experience and it felt so worthwhile because I cared so much about the kids we took and it was awesome to see their eyes being opened to the way that the majority of the world worked. This trip, was a lot different. Firstly, it was a team made up of all adults- there were 25 people and the oldest couple had been MARRIED for 64 years- Matt and I were on the younger side (him more so than me obviously). We went to a compound that was once owned by the dictator Anastasio Somoza Debayle. Larry and Donna Wright bought the compound 6 years ago and now use it as a sort of base camp for all the work they do. Currently they feed over 19,000 people a day and have opened schools all over the country. Donna also sponsors a dorm at a women's prison and provides them with basic necessities. They employ a lot of Nicaraguans and basically do a lot of good work.
There were a few things that really surprised me this week. Firstly, it was really neat to see how much work a group of Canadians could actually get done. We put a new roof on the compound- a huge job. Three of the guys on the team worked in construction and were very skilled. They did all of the technical work, along with a group of Nicaraguans, and the rest of us hulled panels and did what they told us to do. One other cool thing was that after the old roof was ripped off (parts of it were leaking) all of the panels were puts out on the road for the neighbours to take. Apparently each panel was worth a days wage. Some people loaded carts pulled by horses all day with the free panels.



Another team member was skilled at doing dry wall- he taught a group of us how to use "mud" (the white plaster stuff) to even out dry wall panels and how to make the seams invisible. Finally, John, the team leader, had loads of business and engineering skills and helped to design the way that we put in the play ground. We accomplished a lot of tangible things. The medical clinic is almost finished- and people will undoubtedly benefit from that. Here are a few pictures from our playground installation adventures.

Who knew that dirty buckets would be perfect for holding concrete. It was super hot out- while we were digging the holes for the equipment we found over 50 bullet casings. Apparently one of the walls of the playground had been used as the backdrop for executions- there were AK47 shells and 9 millimeters.


I got to lead a "tour" of the playground for some of the team members who were assigned to other tasks- to our surprise there were already kids playing. It was a really beautiful moment and most definitely made all of the digging and labouring in the sun more than worth it.


Here is my favourite shot. I love the idea that something so ugly, so dark as an execution area, with lingering evidence of the atrocities committed and the lives lost, can now be a place of joy, laughter and life.


Finally, last year when Matt was in Nicaragua with his family they opened a bike shop out of the compound- it's a pretty cool idea because the bike shop is fully functional and runs all year long by this great guy named Antonio. Old bikes from Canada are sent to Nicaragua and Antonio fixes them up and sells them. Each bike costs about 450 Cordoba or $22 USD. This bike shop not only provides transportation for the locals (almost no one has cars as a tank of gas costs the same as here, but the average worker makes about $5 American per day) but also is a job for Antonio and Domingo, a young guy who works part time. I like the bike shop because it is sustainable and practical for the people there. Bikes allow people to get to their jobs and to get around. The bike shop looks even better than when Matt left it last year- this year a new sign got put up.



I have so much more to write about this trip and I want to a little bit about how I dealt (or didn't deal) with the tension of "missionary" work and how it feels to be white and rich...because there were times that I had to look away from the tiny sad eyes of little children-it was the first time in my entire life that I have ever felt devoid of any humanness. I have never felt shamed of the colour of my skin- but a few times on this trip, I felt sick, like I was some sort of freak show and that everyone was staring at me. But- I'll write more about that later.

We need hope like this...

I know that all politicians sell a message- but, there is something about a message of hope and change that just speaks to us. Perhaps I am naive or overly optimistic, but I so desperately want to believe that there is a reason to hope and that there IS potential for change. I am not sure I believe that a politician can ever really bring about the change we long for, but messages like Obama's are powerful because we are reminded of possibility.

cute!!!

Pouring Blood on the American Flag

The "St. Patrick's Day four" (well three of them) came and spoke to my class today about an action that they did in 2003, days before the American "Shock and Awe" campaign began in Iraq. They poured 4 ounces of each of their blood inside of a U.S. military recruitment centre in New York State. They all were sentenced to federal prison for 4-8 months.

Their story is incredibly powerful- I was moved and inspired.

Read about their protest and their official statement HERE.

We're one but we're not the same...

Today I was at Mac watching my boyfriend's soccer games and I had to go to the bathroom. Mac has two "parts" to the gym- there is a new part that is new and expensive looking.. It's newly renovated and really nice. BUT there is also an "old" gym that is kinda shabby. Needless to say, this was the gym that the soccer game was in. So, I was in the bathroom and I noticed that it was multi-coloured- orange and purple, seriously (I guess that is really irrelevant mind you). I was in the stall and I noticed that all over the walls people had written "I was here" in all of its possible variations (ie- I wuz here '04 etc). I hadn't seen that written in a long time. I started to wonder why people feel compelled to write that- to let people know that they were there...in the shabby Mac bathroom. I wrote a post about the idea that I think we all want to be known in some capacity in September. I think this idea that we want to leave our mark is slightly different. As much as people want to be deeply known by their close friends and family, I think there is another part of us that desires to be recognized for simply existing. It's like that Inuit people, famous for their Inukshuks- little rock sculptures that they made so that they would know where they had come from, or to mark their paths in a landscape with very few natural landmarks. In some way, even on a superficial level, even as superficial as writing on the wall-we want people to know that we have passed through. Think about it, how awful would it be to be at a party with a bunch of people, just to have one of them later ask what you did the night of the party. It really sucks to go unnoticed. We hate the idea that we can be forgotten. I think another example of this is remembering someone's name, when they haven't remembered yours. There have been countless times where I have played along and asked someone what their name is when they ask what mine is. We long to be remembered, even in the simplest and smallest ways.

Also, today I heard a remix of the U2 song "One" with Mary J. Blige- It's already an incredible song when it's just U2, but something about this remix is really beautiful. I've listened to it at least 5 times today. The song has a great couple of lines where it says,

One love
One blood
One life
You got to do what you should
One life
With each other
Sisters
Brothers
One life
But we're not the same
We get to
Carry each other
Carry each other

One...life
One

When I thought about these lines, and the idea that we are one, but we aren't the same and the silly writing on the bathroom wall that I saw today I was so reminded of the strange and complex relationship that we have with those around us...because we are so similar, we all have these needs, wants, desires...the capacity to love and to be loved, to hurt and to be wounded- but at the same time, we all feel this need to distinguish ourselves from each other...to stand out and to be noticed. There is such a profound truth in the line "we are one, but we are not the same"... And as the U2 song so simply puts it, it is for this very reason that we get to carry each other- because as "one" we all need to be carried, to be loved, and heard- but at the very same time, it is in our differences where we have the capacity to take turns being strong, to take turns carrying each other. There is something beautifully interdependent in the song "One" and even in the writing on the bathroom wall. I am not sure that I am articulating this well at all. It's just a mystery to me- this tension between being the same and being different...and today I have been reminded to be mindful in this complexity. People are strange creatures- I hope that even by remembering the simple idea that we are, in the most fundamental way, the same- that the way I treat people can be born out of this knowledge...it seems so basic, but we all have feelings, we all bleed, we all laugh and cry. I guess it's a lesson in not "other-ing" people... there is no other...because we are, uniquely, one.

Doves, boats and trains

Today one of my profs read a passage out of some crazy book from 1903- what he read was very profound. I'll do my best to paraphase.

He said...

The thing that the dove must overcome is the air. If there were no air, there would be no resistance for the dove and he would be able to sore high and free. Yet, if there were no air, the dove would be trapped in a vacuum and would be unable to go anywhere, trapped. Similarily a ship must overcome and breakthrough the friction of the waters of the ocean. The water creates resistance that the ship uses it's power to breakthrough. Yet, without water, the ship would be unable to sail. In the very same way, a train faces the friction of the wheels on the track. But without tracks, trains would be unable to go anywhere.

He was talking about how we must understand our difficulties as the very things that propels us into our future. The things that are hard or that we struggle with are the very things that reveals our power. Ultimately, our challenges gives us something to overcome, to learn from, to reflect on. A life of pure luxury, with no trials or struggles would produce selfish, weak and ignorant people who are incapable of understanding goodness.

I like this idea. I like this way of looking our struggles. The same prof also said today that we are going to "look for problems"- not just problem solve. I like this idea too- in uncovering injustice, or hate or anything dark, we are able to find outlets to use our power. We are able to become like the doves, the ships and the trains- and are able to move forward (not necessarily in linear fashion- i don't like the notion that progress is always linear and that some people are "behind" others)- we are able to be better humans and more closely able to fully understand the world around us. Really, it comes down to perspective, like so many things in life. It's like the choice to choose to see the shadow or the light in places where darkness and light overlap. Because really, like the Swithchfoot song says, "the shadow proves the sunshine."